How many decisions do you make by thinking about first “what will others say” and only then what you really want? The fear of being judged pushes you to conform: in character, in relationships… and even in the wallet (expenses for “appearance”, endless postponements, investments never started).
Freedom Project Goal: To help you regain your inner direction, so as to living healthy relationships and build freedom also from the point of view financial
📑 INDEX
🔎 What (really) is the fear of judgment?
Simple definition:
fear of judgment is that thrill you feel when your “social” brain fears not to be acceptedAn internal alarm is triggered (“If I make a mistake, I'll be excluded.”) and, to protect yourself, you start to please, to avoid to have your say wear a mask just to feel part of the group. The price? You lose yourself, your true self. authenticity, time, energie…and often also money.
Where it comes from (in 30 seconds)
- Biological: We are “programmed” to be in a group; rejection is scary.
- Biographical: phrases heard as children (“don't disappoint me”, “keep yourself composed”) become an internal voice that judges you.
- Cultural/social: constant comparisons, unrealistic standards → you feel you are not “enough”.
How it works (the 4 deceptions of the mind)
- Spotlight effect: you think everyone is looking at you (in reality, this is absolutely not the case).
- Mind reading: You decide what others “think”… and you adapt.
- Catastrophism: “If I fail once, it’s over.”
- Social comparison: you measure it based on what you see in others.
What do you do to “protect yourself” (but you get stuck)
- Please: you say yes when you want to say no.
- Perfectionism → procrastination: “first I make it perfect, and then I do it”… and in the end you are left glued to your chair.
- Avoidance: postpone choices to avoid risking criticism.
- Spending by status: You buy to appear, not because you really need it.
Real-life examples you might recognize yourself in
1) Work
- Situation: You have a better idea, but the boss prefers the usual method.
- What do you feel: knot in your stomach, fear of “making a bad impression”, you feel unappreciated.
- What are you doing: shut up, say “ok” and work twice as hard.
- Effect: no one sees your value and you empty yourself.
2) Friends/family
- Situation: Everyone wants the expensive vacation or the fancy dinner.
- What do you feel: If I say I prefer to save, they'll think I'm stingy.
- What are you doing: you accept and pay, then you get angry with yourself.
- Effect: money burned for a 2 hour approval.
3) Social & image
- Situation: new smartphone/car “that everyone has”.
- What do you feel: “if I don’t keep up to date I’ll fall behind.”
- What are you doing: purchase in installments to show a status.
- Effect: monthly anxiety and zero funds for real projects.
4) Financial choices
- Situation: do you want to start Matched Betting or Self-Publishing, but you're worried that someone will tell you, "Are you messing around with online scams? They're all scams," and that they'll see you as someone who doesn't want to do "serious work."
- What do you feel: “And what if things go badly and they tell me 'I told you so'?”
- What are you doing: you procrastinate, you ask for ten opinions (all different), you remain still.
- Effect: you lose time And opportunity: no extra flow, no plan.
5) Couple/relationships
- Situation: Your partner judges your projects as “phases.”
- What do you feel: fear of creating conflict.
- What are you doing: you tone it down, you minimize it, you let it go.
- Effect: you distance yourself and undermine your self-confidence.
"Tale" signs that it is a fear of judgment
- Before you decide, think “what will the others say?”
- You speak to the future with “when I'm ready” (which then never arrives).
- Spend for show more than for grow.
- Circles permit instead of asking information.
- After a polite “no” you hear a guilt disproportionate.
Mini-test (10 seconds)
When faced with a choice, ask yourself:
- If nobody knew anything, what would I do?
- If the answer scares me but sounds like me, it's authenticity or is it real danger?
- I can do a small step today without asking anyone's permission?
If 1) pushes you in a clear direction and 3) is doable, it's the your street. The fear of judgment is there, but you did Anyway clarity with yourself.
Micro-exercise (60 seconds)
- Name the internal voice that criticizes (e.g., “The Principal”).
- When he speaks, answer: “Thanks for your opinion, but today I'm going my own way.”
Repeat it; it seems silly at first, but it helps you defuse the automatism.
Key message: the fear of judgment is human, but it doesn't have to decide for you. Understanding it is the first step; in the next chapter we'll see how to turn it into practical choices that make you freer in relationships And in your financial area.
🌪️ Where It Traps You: Self, Relationships, Money (Quick Map)
If
- Signals: you seek permission, you procrastinate “until it’s perfect,” you talk badly about yourself.
- Flash Antidote: take 5 deep breaths (possibly with your eyes closed)… once done, recite this mantra as long as you feel it is necessary: "I am the divine creator and I command that the fear of judgment dissolve now; that the need for permission transform into self-authorization; that perfectionism become concrete and progressive action; and that my every inner word convert into respect, care, and encouragement."
“Save it to your phone’s Notes and reread it when you feel a knot in your stomach.” - Micro-action today: write 3 non-negotiable priorities (family/health/project), write them on a piece of paper and then place it in a highly visible place (e.g. on the refrigerator door).
Relations
- Signals: you say “yes” when you want to say “no”, fear of disappointment, conflicts avoided.
- Flash Antidote: take time to meditate and reflect on what is troubling you — If you have trouble saying no, try answering. “Thank you, can I take some time to respond?” You're not here to be perfect: you're here to be real. Take five deep breaths (preferably with your eyes closed)... once done, recite this mantra as often as you feel necessary: "I am the divine presence and I command that the fear of disappointment dissolve now; that I honor my truth with respect and courage; that every choice I make is born of love and not complacency; that I grant myself permission to be imperfect and evolving."
“Save it to your phone’s Notes and reread it when you feel a knot in your stomach.” - Micro-action today: suggest a simple alternative (e.g. dinner at home instead of an expensive restaurant).
Money
- Signals: “showcase” spending, comparing yourself with others, endless postponements for fear of criticism.
- Flash Antidote: silent decision (If you're struggling, listen to yourself and try to decide privately. Once you've made a decision, you'll be free to share it.) Every step taken today weighs more than a thousand tomorrows. Postpone it, take five deep breaths (preferably with your eyes closed)... once done, recite this mantra as often as you feel necessary: "I am the divine presence and I command that the fear of criticism dissolve now; that external approval lose power over me; that I choose clear and concrete action, even if imperfect; that every piece of feedback be transformed into useful information without affecting my value."
“Save it to your phone’s Notes and reread it when you feel a knot in your stomach.” - Micro-action today: activate the automatic bank transfer towards your “Emergency Fund” and choose a 7-day experiment (selling used items / cutting waste / a week without non-essential purchases).
This map is the bridge between awareness and action: recognize where judgment occurs and apply theflash antidote. Then move on to the next chapters for more structured steps.
🧭 The 4-Step Method (Simple Version)
1) Observe without judging yourself
First treatment: welcome. In Street of Love we listen to you without judgment, there is no intention to change you; our goal is to offer you different interpretations and practical tools to improve your quality of life. The path is intuitive, flexible, respectful of your times
Mini-exercise: for 24 hours try to do not classify As "right/wrong" what you feel. On your phone or in your notebook, just write: “Today I heard…”.
2) Break the automatic “please” habit
When judgment anxiety rises: do it 5 slow breaths, bring your hands to your chest and try to repeat in your mind: “I can choose later.” This brings you back to a state of serenity.
3) Rewrite your rules
Define 3 Non-negotiable VALUES (e.g., family, health, project). It's important that every "yes" begins here: if what you're presented with isn't aligned, it may not be for you 😉
4) Train with micro-actions
Small daily acts of authenticityDress the way you like, go out without makeup/brands, post/share an idea or insight you've felt. The self-esteem muscle needs to be trained (like any other muscle).
In the Street of Love We use tools such as:
- there Kinesiology (muscle test to delve into our unconscious),
- the Command Prayers (deep meditations to transmute limiting beliefs or fears),
- “The Laws of Mirrors” (understand what we can learn about ourselves by observing others)
- “Rebalancing with Money Energy” to dissolve beliefs of scarcity. These are practices born to to transform (don't repress) your emotions and let them flow with the universal energy of love.
A very important lesson that helped me a lot in working on this fear was understanding how the Law of Mirrors.
👇 If you want to understand what it is, which ones are the 4 mirrors that we activate in our life and how to deal with them I invite you to watch this video on our YouTube channel 👇
💸 Financial Nonconformism: 5 Practical Steps
Objective: stop spending to “appear”, make decisions for yourself and make your money work for you.
1) “Tray” budget
Put the money in 4 containers: Fixed costs | Variable expenses | Emergency Fund| Training.
You can do this either in cash or by setting up recurring transfers Every 1st of the month (or when you receive your salary). If you use this latter method, it would be better to have four separate bank accounts so you reduce the issuer risk, as well as being less tempted to use them for purposes other than their intended purpose.
👉 Result: less impulsive spending, more mental order.
2) Detox from limiting comparisons (30 days)
Unfollow profiles that make you feel “behind” or “wrong.”
👉 Result: freer mental space = less influence from the outside world.
3) Silent decisions with your money
Choose in private your steps (courses/books to purchase, periodic purchases of physical 24k (999.9) gold, new business experiences) and share only when you have made your choice.
👉 Result: fewer external opinions holding you back, more consistency.
4) 7-day experiments (concrete and fast)
- Matched Betting – 18+, ADM only
With 30–60 minutes a day following a guide → you will be able to create the first extra profits following a mathematical 100% method. You can listen to some testimonials at the end of this article. If you want to learn more about the method, I recommend reading our article: SAFE EARNINGS ONLINE: Truth or Utopia?
- Cash Start
Empty a closet and sell used items: old telephone, electronic devices, tools. In many homes at least 600 €. - Zero non-essential purchases week
Only essential expenses. Keep a list: you'll see how many unnecessary expenses you skip. - Cutting recurring waste
Verify meter power And electricity tariff (If you're interested in learning more, I've created a dedicated article: SAVE UP TO 30% ON YOUR 2025 ELECTRICITY BILL), review yours subscriptions to: Netflix, Amazon, telephony, internet, etc. - 10% Automation
Active Today the recurring transfer to the tray Emergency Fund (and, if you can, another 10% towards the tray Training).
👉 Result: small successes in a few days that push you to continue.
5) Clear boundaries in conversations
Useful phrase: "I appreciate your perspective; this is my choice. I'll test it for 30 days and then let you know how it goes."
👉 Bottom line: You don't have to convince anyone to live by your decisions.
Note on Matched Betting: It is a mathematical method if done with the right rules; it remains an activity reserved for adults (18+) And only with ADM bookmakersAlways act with dedicated budget and following the guidelines of the strategy.
🧰 Tools from Street of Love (how can we help you)
The Way of Love it's a community and a path where we share practical tools for energy transformationHe was born inAugust 2024 After 24 years of field experience.
Objective: put yourself in a position to get to know you better and understand, in a practical way, like transmute low vibrations into high vibrations—what is not convenient for you today in something that supports you.
- We welcome you without judgment 🤍
We don't pretend to know what's "right" for you: we see you and welcome you exactly as you are, without the intent to change you. - Practices of transformation (not repression) 🌀
Tools like Judgments and Expectations, Transmutation of Anger, Learning to forgive.
They are used for MELT what blocks, not to "sweep under the carpet". - Energy Money 💛
We work on limiting beliefs (“I am not capable”, “I am not capable”, “money does not bring happiness”…), on wounds of scarcity/unworthiness and on thepersonal alignment.
Why money is energy: flows better when you are centered and coherent. - Community 👥
We have a Telegram group to share, receive, evolve (CLICK HERE to enter) and a YouTube channel (CLICK HERE to view it) where we publish training contents And meditations.
❓ Quick questions
Q: What if others judge me the same?
TO: It can happen. The right question is: Who is leading my life, them or me? You choose the path, they at most watch. 😉
Q: I'm afraid to say "no." What do I do?
TO: Use the “no kindly”: "Thanks, it's not for me now."It's short, it's polite, and that's it. Your value doesn't depend on pleasing everyone.
Q: What if I make a mistake and then they tell me “I told you so”?
TO: “Mistakes” are there to help you learn and evolve… ask yourself “Can I really only do in life what others expect of me?”if the answer is no, go, make mistakes, and increase your life experience.
Q: I don't understand anything about money – where do I start?
TO: Three steps:
1) get organized (four “trays”: fixed expenses, variable expenses, emergency fund, training);
2) activate a automatic bank transfer the Emergency Fund tray;
3) Study something that can generate extra income for 15 minutes a day. Anyone can do it.
Q: What if I don't have time?
TO: Finds 45 minutes per day: 15 to learn, 15 to generate revenue (selling useless items or simple activities), 15 to build useful relationships. Turn off your phone for 15 minutes and you've already found them. If you want more information on how this simple strategy can revolutionize your present, read my article: The 3 x 15 Method: The Ladder to Changing Your Life in 45 Minutes a Day
Q: Do I have to tell everyone about my plans?
TO: No. Silent decisions: decide in private, act, and tell if you want AfterLess noise, more peace of mind.
Q: How do I stop buying “for appearance”?
TO: Ask yourself: “Do I really need this or am I buying applause?” Wait 24 hours before clicking "buy." Nine times out of ten, the urge will pass.
Q: What if my family doesn't approve of my changes?
TO: Brings facts and times: "I'll try this for 30 days with this small budget. We'll see the results together in a month."The results calm the judgments.
Q: Can I get help if I feel stuck?
TO: Of course. In the Street of Love we welcome you without judgment And we'll give you practical tools to transform fear and confusion into clear steps. You're welcome to join us anytime. 🙏
Conclusion
The fear of judgment is human, but be careful when you decide to let it lead your life.
Freedom also means choose from within, one step at a time, even when the crowd pushes you the other way ☺️
Here is the short road to take with you:
Observe: when you feel the knot in your stomach, take 5 breaths and ask yourself: “Is this choice mine or someone else's?”
You choose: if you feel that thing is in line with you, tell her Yes even if you tremble; if it doesn't belong to you, answer No with kindness.
Take action: a small gesture every day is worth more than a thousand promises.
If you want a clear starting point, try the 30-day challenge:
A “no kindly” a week where before you would have said yes to please.
A silent decision per week on your money (e.g. activate the transfer to the “Savings” tray, sell an unused item).
Everyday 10 minutes for you: with a practice of the Street of Love.
Stopping to conform is not a sterile rebellion: it is self-respect.
When you align, even financial choices become simple, clean, yours.
Thanks for reading. Action beats fear. Always.
David Bottero
Co-Founder of Progetto Libertà
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